splendor of love

LoVe REaLLy TakeS TiMe To HeaL When You’rE hUrtIng So Much.

I feel sad to my close friends who are broken hearted. But I feel special whenever they come to me and share their feelings. I feel like I am trusted to make them feel better.

These few days, two of my closest friends just had their worst experience in relationship. Kinda hard for them to let go of their first love - honestly, I can relate with them. I went through a break-up that left me a big challenge of moving on. And I am happy to realize now that I have moved on completely. That was a chapter in my life that has now closed and I am now ready to grow and enter another chapter of my life. Read the rest of this entry »

Last night, I had a dream and I find it unpleasant. There was this boy, who’s very significant to me, who wanted to see me. He was there around but I ignored him. He waited the whole day until I asked him what he wants.  I thought we would talk about us, but then it was only asking a favor to do something for him - just like in reality. (He only comes to me when he needs help). Though I was little disappointed, I still did it for him. Later on, I can no longer recall what happened but I felt so pity for him. He is still there around and like he’s still needing for something. I left him alone but deep inside I wanted to be on his side. I had no choice to go near to him because certain people are drawing me back from going. But in the last part of my dream, there comes his siblings to fetch him. Then they left. Read the rest of this entry »

You thought it is over and done. You thought everything has passed away. You thought you were now fine. You thought you’ve moved on. Yet why are you still hurt? It seems that pain is just an inch away from you. Things you want to forget, but it always comes for you again and again to remember. Now, it’s getting harder for you to heal the wounds. You thought, time can just help you to heal it. But you can never forget the pain unless good memories has taken its place. Read the rest of this entry »

As what I have said, I will no longer talk about RIOHAN’s story. But I just wanted to share my reflections of all my experiences (my first love life). This will be my last words about RIOHAN. Don’t worry I’m not going to delete this blog. Maybe someday, I’ll change its header…which is no longer existing in real life. I’m gonna use this for my paid posts. Hehehe…So let me start now my reflection. Ahemnnn…. Read the rest of this entry »

LATEST HEARTBREAK?
~january 2008

REASON OF YOUR HAPPINESS?
~being loved by my love ones and
beautiful things…

ARE YOU JEALOUS OF SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
~no!

YOU WERE SURPRISED BECAUSE…
~i didn’t expect for it! i guess…hehehe

WHAT IS THE PERFECT SONG THAT COULD
EXPLAIN WHATEVER YOU’RE FEELING RIGHT
NOW?
~someday by nina Read the rest of this entry »

This post might be my the second to the last entry of this blog. I don’t know if I have to delete this blog or maybe just leave it inactive or make posts not related to my sentiments. But one thing for sure I’m not gonna talk about my love life anymore. Each time I blog, it will only make me think of him. Though this helps me to express my feelings, it only makes me harder to forget him. I no longer want to think of him…and it is so sad to say that I cannot make our disclosure of our relationship in person. This “thing” that I have right now that symbolizes our love must be returned to him. This is the reason that keeps me hoping someday we’ll be together again. And I believe he is still hoping for it also. Though it’s hard to make this decision, I really have to do it. Because it will take a longer time before I can go back to our place. It’s hard to see him one day with another girl that I still have this “thing.” And I’m afraid too that he might see me with another guy believing that I love him still. It’s better to free ourselves as early as now. At least we’re giving each other a chance to move on. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s 2:50 in the morning, almost 3 o’ clock and still I am sitting in front of the computer. I now wanted to sleep but I can’t. I am so bothered about this blog, maybe I need to make an entry for today.

It’s actually the second month today after we broke up with my ex. I don’t know why I am still counting the days. Perhaps, I want to know how long I can move on and forget my feelings for him. I did not expect that I would be in the situation I have right now. I thought, pain in loving is just like how it was shown in the movies that there’s always a good end of the story. I’m still suffering with the pain I have right now. And maybe this is not yet the end because ain’t no good thing happened. My feeling right now was like empty whenever I think of him. No more tears that runs through my cheeks. But whenever I think of the people that have caused our break up, my heart is like crumpled by somebody that all my tears would burst out. I am not actually blaming them, I blame ourselves especially myself. We were both weak to fight for it. I easily gave up. And he let me go. The reason I am so hurt is because I know he really loves me. But there is a saying that to let go of someone doesn’t mean you stop loving. I believe that we were sincere with how we feel to each other that time, but maybe we had the right love at the wrong time. Just at the wrong time. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve known my first and truest love since I was 8 years old (I think?). But we’ve started our relationship when I turned to 18 years old. Now, it’s 56 days after we broke up. I’m still moving on. And I still love him. I don’t know if he does or feel the same way now. I really missed the time that I was with him. Days from now, I’ll be going home soon in our place. I need to meet him because I have something that I need to return to him. Though it will tell that everything is totally over between us, I still have to return it. I have to. And though I still love him, I don’t want to rekindle it again. It’s better that we remain friends. I’ve been hurt and I don’t want to add more. I want to save my heart for the one I know (God knows) who is really for me.

March 1 last year has been a very memorable day for me. It was the day when I made a very big decision for my life. The day when I first get into a relationship. Yes.. the day when I finally said “YES” to the guy whom I learned to love and give my trust. The first day of having a boyfriend. Read the rest of this entry »

Love helps you find new levels of yourself, levels that you didn’t even realize you contained. You contain multitudes. It may be a little scary at first, but it’s going to be fulfilling in the end. I’m a type of a girl who wants to be alone always. I want to give more time to myself alone rather than being with just someone or anybody. But there was a time that my life is really seeking for someone who could understand me. Someone whom I can trust other than my close friends. I needed someone who is new to me. And suddenly, a certain guy came over to my life and changed me. He became a very important person to me, ’cause of course I love him very much. Read the rest of this entry »

Thoughts are running through my head at a million miles a minute and I cant seem to keep my feet on the ground. I wanted to put an end point in my story yet there’s something that’s stopping me inside. I’m so tired of thinking ways on how to move on. I need answers to my confusions that led me to sleepless nights. Well, what really made me feel this way is because of HIM. Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday, I spent the Valentine’s Day alone in our house. My day wasn’t that bad ‘coz… again, he “texted” me. Hehehe…but sadly, he is not feeling well. He has a fever! He was asking me if do I have a date. Well, I just said there are a lot who wanted me to hang out with, but neither of them I’m not going. I don’t understand why he is still staying in touch with me. If what he’s doing now, shows that he still love me…then why is he not telling it to me straightly?? But whatever in his heart now, he knows already that I just started to close my heart. I told him that! But it’s not meant for him actually it’s for the other guys. I’m afraid of being hurt…as well as to hurt anyone again. It’s up to him if he would be stronger to fight for it. I still have the key of our symbol of love, and maybe I can give him another chance. But when this symbol is at his hands back again, then that tells the endpoint between us. Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday was a great day for me. Even though I’ve been dumped again by the company I applied for, my feelings wasn’t that bad like the other day. Hehehe…wanna know why?

Ehheemmmnnn…hehehe..

There’s no other reason that makes me happy…

Obviously, he sent a message again to me.. =D But that was really different ‘coz he directly ask me if I am still okey. He used to send me first a qoute, before wanting to know about me now…that’s why it’s unusual for me. I asked him how he could still stay in touch with me when I can’t forget what he told me before that he hates to remember his ex gfs and he can’t even give a nod when they meet in the crossroads. Well what he only replied to me was for him I am different to them and I must be proud of it. Toink! hahaha…why should I be proud when there’s no difference ‘coz I added to his list of exs??? Hehehe… Read the rest of this entry »

Today is supposedly a special day…not only for me…but, I know, to “that” someone also. I almost forgot the date today because I was thinking of so many things like in my coming job next week (hopefully they’ll hire me) and the pending tasks in my blogs. Meanwhile I was sitting alone in our dining table and unconsciously my mind was empty, my phone beeps many many times. When I opened it, I saw an unsaved mobile number appeared in my inbox. But those numbers where very familiar to me. And then I read the message, it was only a quote, but it was sent to me twice. Read the rest of this entry »

Someday you’ll gonna realize
One day you’ll see through my eyes
But then i won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if i can’t Read the rest of this entry »