splendor of love

Last night, I had a dream and I find it unpleasant. There was this boy, who’s very significant to me, who wanted to see me. He was there around but I ignored him. He waited the whole day until I asked him what he wants.  I thought we would talk about us, but then it was only asking a favor to do something for him - just like in reality. (He only comes to me when he needs help). Though I was little disappointed, I still did it for him. Later on, I can no longer recall what happened but I felt so pity for him. He is still there around and like he’s still needing for something. I left him alone but deep inside I wanted to be on his side. I had no choice to go near to him because certain people are drawing me back from going. But in the last part of my dream, there comes his siblings to fetch him. Then they left. Read the rest of this entry »

I enjoyed my last vacation in Cebu City this recent weekend. My friends invited me to visit one of the best beaches in BOGO, it is three hours to travel from the main city. The last time I swam was when I was in Davao last year. So I really missed the feeling being near at the seashore. It’s the best time and place that I always hope whenever I’m feeling sad and tired. Listening to the wind’s blow, the clashing of waves and enjoying the heat of the sun. Since, it’s the last time also that I can be with my friends, we never forget to bring our best travel digital camera.

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May 1 is nearly coming. That’s gonna be tomorrow! Of course, hahaha! The first day of the month is always a special day for me. To know it why, read my previous posts… hehehe…These few days, there’s only one thing that’s always in my mind. And I always feel these mixed emotions of excitement and worries. I can actually count the days on my “come back” from now. Exactly! It’s confirmed that I am going home in my place. And I have no plans to be back in this place anymore. I realized that being back in my real home is the best way to solve my problems. I can’t forget what my brother told me before that if I have a problem, think of yourself inside the box. And fight for it while you’re inside. You can never fix it when you place yourself outside of that box, because it’s just like running away from the challenges you had. Read the rest of this entry »

For many weeks I believed that I missed him. I actually made a few attempts to rekindle our relationship. After the last botched attempt, I realized I didn’t miss him. I buried that axe. What I missed was that feeling I had with him. It’s difficult to get those feelings back once it’s gone with your first love. When you love for the first time, everything is so open and honest. The bonds that are created in that relationship are so pure. For some, it’s the only time in their lives that they’ve loved like they’ve never been hurt. And that’s only because they’ve never been that badly injured before. Once all of that is broken, people start baracading their hearts and throwing up all kinds of safety nets. They don’t let other lovers in nearly as far because they fear being vulnerable. I will admit that sometimes I miss the feeling. But the man is long gone.

Have you ever loved somebody so much…it makes you cry Have you ever needed something so bad…you can’t sleep at night! Have you ever tried to find the words but they don’t come out right. Have you ever been in love..been in love so bad? You’d do anything to make them understand. Have you ever had someone steal your heart away? You’d give anything to make them feel the same. Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart but you don’t know what to say and you don’t know where to start? Read the rest of this entry »

You don’t always measure love by what it gives you; sometimes you measure it in terms of the necessary sacrifices you have to make. Once you let them go, you realize they weren’t that important to begin with. Hehe wala lang, it’s just an introduction. But it doesn’t relate of what will I share with you now. Read the rest of this entry »

Last night I was very upset that I almost burst out to cry while walking alone at the street. I have so many disappointments and I’m afraid this might add to my frustrations again. Huhuhu…Sometimes, I could think that it would be better not to do anything so that I won’t be hurt when I fail. I am really afraid to commit mistakes. I want to do things in a perfect way as much as possible. But I believe no one is perfect, only God alone. I tried to be open minded and accept my failures then take it as a new learning…or as a way of improvement to myself. I thought I have learned and am good enough to perform or make things better or even at the best. I’ve been doing the same thing yet still I can’t have it! Why? What are the things that I need to improve? Why it happens that I almost reached the peak yet I still fall? Even the easiest way to have it, can’t still be mine!!! Maybe, you’re now confused of what I am talking about..hehehe..better not try to understand.
Hehehe…*__* So much for that emote thing… Read the rest of this entry »

If only you could have stayed a little longer

If I had known this feeling then I could have been much stronger

and the hurt I feel right now would b so far away

now all the memories tell me I should have made you stay

you said we´ll make it last forever

maybe you could have been a little stronger too

now I know that sometimes promises just fade away

I need you here beside me, it´s just no good to feel this way Read the rest of this entry »

As I sit here at my computer typing away
Talking to a person that i think about all day
I wish i could be with them right now
But they live so far away, I dont know how
I want to be with this person so bad
But all I can do is dream which makes me mad
I just want to leave this place
and go see the person’s I love face
I sit here dreaming more and more
thinking about you coming to my door
I want to be with you so much
But you’re to far away i can’t even feel your touch
But No matter the distance we’re apart
I’ll always love you with my heart