splendor of love

May 1 is nearly coming. That’s gonna be tomorrow! Of course, hahaha! The first day of the month is always a special day for me. To know it why, read my previous posts… hehehe…These few days, there’s only one thing that’s always in my mind. And I always feel these mixed emotions of excitement and worries. I can actually count the days on my “come back” from now. Exactly! It’s confirmed that I am going home in my place. And I have no plans to be back in this place anymore. I realized that being back in my real home is the best way to solve my problems. I can’t forget what my brother told me before that if I have a problem, think of yourself inside the box. And fight for it while you’re inside. You can never fix it when you place yourself outside of that box, because it’s just like running away from the challenges you had.

I thought staying away from my home place can help me out of who really I am. But while I am away from my loved ones, I realized their importance to me. I realized that I may never be complete without them.

I hope that by the time I’ll land again in Davao, I will live the life I really wanted to be. Say goodbye to what I have been here in Cebu. I want to leave my sad tears and fears in here. I want to start a new life again. Back with my family and old true friends. I wanna make right to the wrong things I have done. And resolve with the people I left hurt. Though I can say that I was not that really happy when I am here in Cebu, but I never regret it. There are still many things I have learned here with the realities in life. And I believe that helped to become a better person now. Seeing again the important people in my life is what makes me feel excited. But what makes me feel worry at the same time?

Well, that talks about my “about to past” love life. Why I said “about to past”? Because we never officially ended our relationship yet. And I wanna put a period between us when I’ll meet him again. I just feel worried because I don’t know how he would face me again. The fact that I am afraid to know that he still loves me and wants me back or he has moved on to find another girl…I have to face it still (with courage!). I wanna hear his words. I wanna know how he feels. And I want to know his own decision.

I can’t wait to be back again to give answers on all my anxiousness. I hope, it will be the way I expect to happen. Aja!!! Aja!!!